What the online aikido community revealed about gender balance
What practitioners validate, what they reject, and what institutions fail to address
TL;DR: Reddit discussion expose the gap between what aikido practitioners know about gender barriers and what institutions acknowledge—systematically documented sexism gets validated, dismissive denials get rejected, yet a 9-year institutional initiative remains invisible.
When I asked r/aikido about gender balance, the post reached close to 50,000 viewers and generated a 100 responses from practitioners worldwide— almost half from the US and Canada, 6% from the UK, and the rest mostly from Europe. Some shared experiences. Others offered theories. A few got defensive. The community response revealed something more than individual comments alone: what the community validates, rejects, what critical issues went unaddressed, and what institutional efforts remain invisible.
What gets validated
The highest-rated comment came from a woman who trained seriously for 17 years before leaving due to systemic sexism. Her documentation was specific:
“Hitting on female students. Sexual or sexist comments and jokes. Disparaging female students or holding them to double standards. Mansplaining on and off the mat. Fewer training opportunities for women. Female teachers relegated to teaching kids classes. Female students expected to perform caretaking tasks while men are not. Sexual harassment. More senior man dates junior woman and when they break up, she leaves because of his seniority. Fewer female teachers to serve as role models.
All of this was done while saying ‘our dojo welcomes women.’”
The community confirmed her experience matched their own. Pattern recognition, not isolated incident.
Another observation received strong support:
“If so many of you assume women aren’t interested in martial arts, why should you do anything to make them feel welcome? Then you scratch your heads and say ‘welp, I guess they just don’t like martial arts.’”
The community recognized how dismissive assumptions create self-fulfilling prophecies.
What gets rejected
When one commenter dismissed the entire discussion with “mostly men are interested in martial arts. And that is OK,” the response was mixed. Some agreement, but significant pushback showed in the controversy flag.
When another claimed “No doubt dojos like this exist. Certainly I have been lucky enough never to have trained in one,” the community pushed back hard. The message: “not in my dojo” doesn’t count as evidence when women document otherwise.
The attempted defense of “natural gender imbalance” through running statistics received minimal engagement. Weak positioning, weak response.
The structural reality few discuss
The second-most supported insight addressed something rarely mentioned in aikido conversations: scheduling and caretaking burdens.
“So many women are caretakers, whether they want to be or not. Every class time our dojo offers is not good for anyone who has to parent through meal and bed time or take people to extra-curriculars. Even if women want to train, they have to find a time that doesn’t conflict with every other family obligation.”
Another practitioner expanded this:
“For so many women working 9-5, there are family obligations before and after work. Kids at any age take so much time, household work and if part of the sandwich generation, aging relatives. So I would ask of our menfolk looking around the mat wondering where the women are: if you have kids or aging parents, who’s taking care of them? The potluck after the last dan test, who cooked the dish you brought?”
Strong community agreement confirmed recognition of the “second shift.” The disproportionate caregiving burden makes “just show up to class” impossible for many women.
This matters because barriers extend beyond sexism into structure. Organizations could address these realities if they provided actual support rather than empty statements about inclusion.
What the discussion missed entirely
Here’s what troubles me most: the conversation focused almost entirely on mat ratios and physical strength differences. Important topics, but they miss the deeper issue.
Even in dojos with decent female participation—say 30-40% on the mat—look at who’s teaching. Look at who holds leadership positions. Look at who makes organizational decisions. The numbers drop dramatically.
When one commenter questioned whether female leadership actually changes anything, another responded from direct experience:
“My dojo was in constant conflict with our federation until a woman took the role for dealing with them. Since then, no conflict.”
When women lead, organizations function differently. Who feels welcome changes. What gets prioritized shifts.
But the community discussion barely touched this. Most responses treated gender balance as a participation problem (getting women on the mat) rather than a power problem (who shapes direction). That gap in awareness matters as much as the institutional silence.
The visibility challenge
Not one respondent mentioned the IAF Gender Balance Working Group. despite its steady activity since 2016, including regular meetings and seminars, focused on inclusion and representation.
The gap reveals a visibility and communication challenge. When practitioners actively discussing gender barriers don’t know institutional support exists, opportunities for collaboration and impact get lost.
The 2024 election of the IAF’s first female Chairperson marks a historic moment. It opens the door for the Gender Balance Working Group to gain the platform and reach its work deserves - provided it is empowered to act with real independence and accountability.
Now is the time. Across the aikido world, practitioners are naming structural barriers and sharing lived experiences. The foundation exists: committed individuals at the community level, and an institutional group with global reach.
The next step is clarity. Who is involved? What progress has been made? How can practitioners engage? Visibility and transparency aren’t just communication goals—they’re what enable collaboration, trust, and lasting change.
A way forward
Progress depends on connecting grassroots insight with institutional action. The community is ready. The structures are in place. What’s needed now is a visible bridge between them—so that gender equity in aikido becomes not just a value, but a shared and supported practice.
That work begins with those already building what the community needs, proving what works, and documenting what doesn’t. Their voices need platforms. Their experiences need recognition and support.
Next, we’ll meet someone who proved inclusive communities work—over 160 teenagers thrived in her dojo, and women saw someone who looked like them leading with skill and care.
When she questioned why organizations prioritize hierarchy over student development, reward loyalty over teaching skill, and shut out diverse voices, the response was swift.
Have you experienced or observed the barriers documented here? What would meaningful institutional support actually look like? Share your thoughts in the comments.
This in rarely discussed. I am glad you brought it up.